Now, I’ve written posts that have alluded to this in the past, but I’ve never written anything completely about it — and I KNOW I’m not alone in my thinking, and I really have no solution to my problem, but it’s something that I’m working on all the time.
When I sit back and think about how many books are out there that I want to read, I get stressed. Or, when I read other bloggers’ posts about the new releases in the week, I see all the books I want to read in those lists and know that I’ll never get to read them all — and those lists usually only include books in a certain genre, not ALL the books that are actually being released in a week.
Like I said, I know I’m not alone in suffering from major bookish anxiety when it comes to thinking about all the books that are out there versus how many I’ll actually get read in a lifetime.
I mean, think about it. Tastes change throughout the years. Maybe in a few years I won’t like YA as much as I do now, or maybe I’ll want to read all the classics, or maybe I’ll still be stuck in YA — I just don’t know! But regardless of what genre I’m reading, I know that with every coming week, my pile at home seems to grow, the library constantly gets new books in, MORE new books are released in the book store, and my bookish friends continue to pump up books that just look amazing.
Now, I can read a lot of books in a week. I’m lucky that way. But I don’t read ALL THE BOOKS usually. Instead, I’ll try and read books, do the work thing, do the family thing, do OTHER things that have nothing to do with books, and try to find a balance in ALL the things I enjoy. But then there are time where I feel guilty about doing these other things when I have 200+ books on my shelves that need to be read.
I sometimes wonder if I read faster if it would be better, but then I tell myself that I like the leisurely aspect of reading. You know, sitting down and reading a book, word by word, paragraph by paragraph, and really digesting the voice of the author. If I sped read through a book, I don’t think it would have the same effect on me.
I also don’t want to be a person who consistently finishes a book and immediately picks up another book to read — instead, I’d like to digest the words I’ve read, think about the characters, actually debate what I read in my head and think about what I liked and disliked about it. I mean, I started the blog to remember what I read and if I’m speed reading through books, I would doubt that I would remember as much as I do.
So, really, in the end, the anxiety stays. I’m really not sure what helps to quell the anxiety — I mean, I feel it over so many things (for example, earlier in the year I got addicted to Doctor Who and had MAJOR anxiety over the show, the regenerations, the changes in companions — my heart was not in good shape) that it’s a difficult thing for me to just say, “You know what? No more anxiety for me.”
And for some, it might seem silly — I mean, there are so many other things out there that are bad or difficult, so many other things that seem more likely to cause anxiety. But still, I’m me and this is what I’m like. Are you like me?
Do you suffer from bookish anxiety? How do you conquer it?